The Emotions of Cancer

Our initial shock often shows up as a sense of disbelief or even denial. "This can't be happening to me" or "maybe there's a mistake" are common reactions. We may feel as if time has stopped or as though we're suddenly in an alternate reality. This can feel almost like We're Dreaming. This is so often a protective mechanism that helps to buffer the intense emotional response to the situation.

This shock can also be accompanied by physical sensations, which is a racing heart, mouth, or a feeling of being numb or detached. People often describe the experience as feeling a profound heaviness or Sinking sensation in their chest or stomach. Sometimes people even have a full-blown attack with symptoms like shortness of breath, sweating, trembling, or a feeling of impending doom. These physical sensations are often just as disturbing as the diagnosis itself." what is happening to me?" it is very helpful to recognize that these are normal sensations and that if we accept them as normal, they usually will pass. This is just our brains way of trying to give us the space to make sense of the information that we've just gotten.

Following getting a cancer diagnosis, the shock can disrupt our cognitive processes, leading to difficulties in processing information, concentrating, or even making decisions. We may find that we have a hard time remembering the details of the conversation that we've had with our doctor or understanding the implications of what we've been told. We might keep asking the same questions, to make sense of the news. Again we may feel like we're in a dream where nothing quite makes sense. Or we might feel like we've been jolted out of our reality and we just have a hard time thinking about things for a time. This too, if we accepted, will pass. Often if we fight it or get scared of it, it amplifies or stays around longer than it needs to.

This shock is often coupled with intense fear and uncertainty about the future. The vision that we've had for our future, the sense of what we thought was going to happen in the future, is often quite disrupted. With this, can we don't quite know what to think or what to imagine our future is going to be like. It can take some time to integrate this new diagnosis and figure out how to go forward. Concerns about treatment, closest, physical, financial implications, and the impact on our loved ones can feel overwhelming. The individual might feel a sudden and sometimes profound loss of control leading to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. Once again, with time this will also pass. A little further on, will describe ways to work through these experiences in a more timely way and a way that gives us more sense of being in control.

The shock in the various forms that we've described may eventually give way to a sense of grief as the reality of this diagnosis sets in undefined this isn't just grief for the potential loss of life, but also for the loss of Health, economy and a sense of normalcy. The person might grieve for the future that they had envisioned for themselves, now seems uncertain or even unattainable. If we come at this in a clear way, this too will pass and new options and approaches will make themselves available to us.

The shock of a cancer diagnosis can lead to a reevaluation of one's identity. Sometimes the person starts seeing themselves as a patient or a victim, into feelings of dehumanization or a loss of self-esteem. Too often they start feeling as though there is something wrong with them that they have developed cancer and that somehow they're not fully acceptable. The phrase " I am a cancer patient" may at first feel alien and difficult to accept. Then sometimes it seems to become our new identity and locks us into that kind of worldview.

It is important to recognize that at times professional support, including psychological counseling, can be invaluable in managing the shock and the emotional turmoil of a cancer diagnosis. Sometimes people think that this makes them even more broken. Addressing and dealing with all this actually ultimately makes us stronger. Everyone responds to such a diagnosis differently and there is no right or wrong way to feel. This is a journey of processing and coming to terms with a new reality, takes time and often is made better by a strong support network.

Fear and anxiety May manifest as constant worry and negative thoughts that are hard to control. We might find ourselves caught in a loop of " what if" scenarios, " what if the treatment doesn't work?" or " what if I can't handle the side effects?" this type of intrusive thought can be persistent and can interfere with daily activities, and an overall sense of well-being.

Much of this type of anxiety stems from the fear of the unknown. This could include uncertainty about our prognosis, what the treatment process will look like and how the disease will impact our lives and our relationships. Is common to feel overwhelmed by a lack of control over the future, leading to an ongoing state of unease and tension. We might experience physical symptoms of anxiety as we mentioned, to racing heart, breathing, omnia, rest, gambling and GI problems. This physical discomfort at times can further intensify the feelings of anxiety, creating somewhat of a vicious loop. When we experience anxiety our body produces adrenaline, causes many of these symptoms. When we feel that surge of adrenaline, if we don't identify it correctly, take that to mean that something else is wrong and that can trigger the release of more adrenaline and the loop begins. If we recognize that this is just adrenaline being released as an old ancient mechanism that is meant to prepare us to deal with challenges, then we can see the adrenaline in its proper role and we can relax knowing that in a few minutes the adrenaline will be used up and will be more relaxed again. Otherwise we can enter a state of heightened body vigilance, we become overly conscious of every physical sensation and we can even then interpret that as a sign of the disease progressing or even the treatment failing or something else going wrong. Again we want to understand this release of adrenaline as a natural process that the body uses to prepare itself to deal with whatever's next. It is the body trying to work properly.

For many of us, to diagnosis confronts us with the Stark reminder and reality of our mortality. At times this can lead to existential anxiety. This can look like fears relating to suffering, and a fear of leaving loved ones behind. It can be a deeply unsettling realization that can trigger an intense range of emotions. We can either react by shutting down and trying to avoid these feelings or we can respond in a way that makes life much richer and more precious and that deepens our engagement in the very process we are going through. In many cases, using this to engage more deeply leads to a richer sense of life and often supports our body and being able to function in a better way as it works to overcome the cancer.

So often when we receive a cancer diagnosis, we experience social anxiety. This means that we worry about how others perceive us now that we are a "cancer patient." sometimes we fear being pitied, rejected or we fear becoming a burden to those that care for us. Sometimes we see ourselves as no longer being a functioning and valid member of society. As we've mentioned before, since we feel as though we're broken and no longer a contributing or important member of society. There can be a sense of shame, as were no longer justified, if there were no longer in good standing amongst our peers and amongst humanity in general. It's a bit as though we have received that infamous scarlet letter. Cancer is such a big stigma in our society that we feel at times as though we can no longer justify our existence. Just feel as though we're a burden. Of course this is not true and others will assure us that they love us as much as ever. But sometimes in our mind we have a hard time really believing that. And yet, so often people emerge from having had cancer stronger,clearer and wiser than ever. We have been challenged and when we step up to that challenge it develops such a capacity in us to deal with life and even more notable ways than we ever have before. We have learned something about our self and about life that can transform us, that is invaluable. We may have had to deal with and overcome those feelings of worthlessness and self blame, even we know it wasn't our fault. On the other side of this, having stood up in ourselves and challenged these things, find a deep well of self-love and self value. This can be one of the silver linings that illness can bring.